Gluten Devoured My Peace

My body has resolved to scream because I have been ignoring its whispers. I honestly cannot blame it, serves me right to some extent, but this, this has been bad.

I am in the middle of an uproar, a gluten revolt. Acne has erupted on my skin, I wish it was just on my face, but I have little unsightly bumps on my face, arms, and chest, then there is the rash that looks like a field of grass around the pimples.

I’ve been off dairy for a few weeks and it feels good. Ovulation has been a breeze, no pain or inflammation. The egg has traveled in peace, without much disruption of my daily life. I am high-fiving myself as I quiet down any milkshake cravings.

A few days ago, I started experiencing gluten cravings. I wanted bread, sweet bread, chapatis, mahamris. You know when your body just wants wheat in all forms, shapes, and sizes? I should have known it was a recipe for disaster. I got the usual canker sore and brain fog, then those healed, this has always been my body’s way of saying, “We have crossed our threshold. You need to chill on the gluten”.

But did I listen?

I listened for a few days then I found wheat, or should I say wheat found it’s way to my intestines. The result has not been as sweet as toast, nah, it has had me tossing in bed, jittery, anxious and red and I couldn’t put my finger on it, I couldn’t even sit still.

In my antsy state, I prayed. Yo, peace is a precious commodity. I guard it with all I have, in this case, I had eaten it away.

Then I remembered one of the side-effects of gluten, and I knew it! It was the cause of the imbalance. I did a quick experiment and got off the trigger, and my peace, sweet peace was back. It wasn’t 100% but it was not 15% either. For that, I am so grateful.

I do believe that God cares about every aspect of my life. This is not too petty or trivial for Him. He cares about what I eat, and He cares about how I feel. I know that as I cast my anxieties on Him, He cares for me, He loves me and I am safe in His hands.

His peace is enough for me.

 

True Beauty

Mirror Mirror On The Wall

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When you look in the mirror, what do you see?

Does it change from time to time?

I’ve struggled with hormonal acne for a couple of years, I have tried different treatments that sometimes work and sometimes they just don’t (especially when you need them to the most). Looking back I can laugh at conversations that I have had with my husband. I remember once, during an acne flare, I made a negative comment about how I looked and he looked back at me genuinely concerned that my eyes were having technical difficulties because he could not see what I was talking about. And, no, love is not blind :).

The Voices In My Head

ME_299_VoicesInHead

Honestly, sometimes I am sure that they need to be shot. They have a way of exaggerating, telling white lies and discouraging. If they are not discussing the acne, it’s the scars or the extra inch that needs to relocate from point A to point B. From time to time I have made the mistake of listening to them and internalizing what they say, let’s just say that those days I have not left the house.

Over the years, I have had to learn that beauty cannot be measured by the lack of little hills on my face. Of course, I do feel prettier without them, however, I have learned to rise above, and search for true beauty that is bigger and prettier than the beauty measured by acne. Beauty that is affirmed by someone other than the voices in my head. Lord knows I have heard and had enough of them.

True Beauty

A few days ago, I stumbled upon this quote that best summarizes my quest.

true-beauty-in-christ

It was such a breath of fresh air.

The truth is:-

A mirror made by a man is not the best tool to measure our beauty. It will only see the clay on the outside and miss out on the treasure on the inside.

2 Corinthians 4:7 (NIV)

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.

The treasure and beauty both come from God. Without Him you cannot find and fully exploit them.

The days I don’t feel pretty because of an acne flare; a misplaced inch or two; postpartum shedding or whatever else my eyes choose to dwell on, I remind myself that there is much more to beauty than meets the eye. Also, the voices in my head need to retire, forever.

Blessings,

Bibi2Be

 

Hormones, Mirrors and Marriage

HORMONES!!!

I didn’t know how powerful these little chemical signals were until about a year ago. Even before I put the puzzle together and realized I was carrying a little human, they showed me how much havoc they can cause.

You see, I always thought that pregnancy meant a yummy glow. What I got was more like a severe blow from hormone central. ACNE! I am familiar with acne, we became acquainted in my teenage years and as much as I was hoping that our relationship would be short, it continued for too many  years. I thought that pregnancy would be my ‘big break’, shock on me! My T-zone decided to expand its boundaries and bring a friend along, eczema :(.

hormones

When the acne finally subsided, somebody pumped my face with air. I am not exaggerating. My nose became puffy..err..larger than it is on a normal day. Thank the Lord it came back to normal :).

I was so used to sleeping on my tummy that I couldn’t imagine anything else. When my honeymoon period ended, I realized that I needed to adapt quickly. The growing tummy did not leave any room for negotiation, sleeping on my side was my only option.

The cravings; they deserve a whole blog post. They were as diverse as they get. What I loved one day could repulse me the next. It was quite ridiculous looking back. However trying to understand cravings logically is quite the wrong approach to understanding the power of hormones.

MIRRORS 

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Initially, the acne and eczema would really bother me and I would spend a considerable amount of time examining them in front of a mirror. Looking back, I wish that was what it took to eradicate them completely. One of my mirrors in my house was not as ‘cruel’ as the rest, I assume it has something to do with the angle and lighting. It showed me what I wanted to see, i.e it was not that bad. It was my consolation base.

MARRIAGE

marriage-2 I dare say, if you don’t want to see the real you, don’t get married.

*Marriage is like a magnifying glass into your soul. You can change certain aspects of your spouse and marriage but if you don’t change within, then it is pointless. Sometimes the problem is not the mirror but the person looking into it.

Cleaning mirrors is a delicate process – at least if you don’t want to scratch them. Admonishing your spouse should be done gently. They may look tough on the outside but something you do or say could leave a lasting scratch or mark. Too much pressure could break them.

While you work on your self, pray for your spouse, not the other way around.

*Every pregnancy is unique and so is every marriage. Don’t believe everything that you hear, sometimes the glow comes a couple of months later but it does not negate the beauty of the journey.

*Just like my nose, the small issues may seem very big at some time, but after a while they go back to their normal shape and size :). Don’t sweat the small big stuff.

*Adaptation is key. Don’t be so rigid. Sometimes life leaves us no choice but to change. You learn on the job, even I who swore by sleeping on my tummy had to learn the balancing act on my left side and I survived. Nothing lasts forever, you may dislike the season at first but it too shall pass.

*Pass on the knowledge. Share the little pearls of wisdom that you pick along the way with someone else.

*Don’t assume that you know everything about yourself or your spouse. Each passing day, you are both changing. What you like now will not be what you like a couple of years down the line. Cravings taught me this important lesson. My shopping list would change bi-monthly, if hubby made the mistake of not clarifying what I currently liked, he would end up having to partake it himself.

For the precious ladies getting married this month, the countdown is ON. May God go ahead of you. May you enjoy your big day and the countless sleepovers with your bestfriends.

Blessings,

Bibi2Be