Gluten Devoured My Peace

My body has resolved to scream because I have been ignoring its whispers. I honestly cannot blame it, serves me right to some extent, but this, this has been bad.

I am in the middle of an uproar, a gluten revolt. Acne has erupted on my skin, I wish it was just on my face, but I have little unsightly bumps on my face, arms, and chest, then there is the rash that looks like a field of grass around the pimples.

I’ve been off dairy for a few weeks and it feels good. Ovulation has been a breeze, no pain or inflammation. The egg has traveled in peace, without much disruption of my daily life. I am high-fiving myself as I quiet down any milkshake cravings.

A few days ago, I started experiencing gluten cravings. I wanted bread, sweet bread, chapatis, mahamris. You know when your body just wants wheat in all forms, shapes, and sizes? I should have known it was a recipe for disaster. I got the usual canker sore and brain fog, then those healed, this has always been my body’s way of saying, “We have crossed our threshold. You need to chill on the gluten”.

But did I listen?

I listened for a few days then I found wheat, or should I say wheat found it’s way to my intestines. The result has not been as sweet as toast, nah, it has had me tossing in bed, jittery, anxious and red and I couldn’t put my finger on it, I couldn’t even sit still.

In my antsy state, I prayed. Yo, peace is a precious commodity. I guard it with all I have, in this case, I had eaten it away.

Then I remembered one of the side-effects of gluten, and I knew it! It was the cause of the imbalance. I did a quick experiment and got off the trigger, and my peace, sweet peace was back. It wasn’t 100% but it was not 15% either. For that, I am so grateful.

I do believe that God cares about every aspect of my life. This is not too petty or trivial for Him. He cares about what I eat, and He cares about how I feel. I know that as I cast my anxieties on Him, He cares for me, He loves me and I am safe in His hands.

His peace is enough for me.

 

Endowhelmed

endo warrior

This morning I was in tears. My friend turned sister was having a really rough Endo flare and being over 500 kilometers away didn’t make it any easier. I wanted to be there to rub her back and let her know that it would be okay. I know the crippling pain all to well, and, my heart breaks when I hear someone else is going through the same. For many years my hand bag was a mini pharmacy and I was a regular at the casualty of a local hospital.

Hospitals suck! They may seem interesting the first couple of visits but when you are a regular and the staff greet you by asking ” you are back again?” you realize that perhaps you need to reduce the frequency of your visits. The truth is, there is only so much pain relief you can get from over the counter drugs. Sometimes the pain is so bad that you need to spend a couple of hours in hospital getting stronger pain medication.

This morning as my friend lay in hospital, I lay in bed overwhelmed asking God so many questions. “How many more surgeries? How many more flare ups? When does it all end?” I prayed and told God the facts, the options that lay before our eyes and asked Him to show us His truth and His will.

Then He reminded me of this verse:-

the rock

He is Higher than her. He is higher than any disease that attempts to take over the body, He is higher than any scheme of the kingdom of darkness and in Him we find safety, restoration, strength and healing. He is our shelter in the midst of the Endo storm.

God is able to repay what Endometriosis has stolen from you, be it your joy, peace, opportunities, time, relationships, ability to have children etc. He is the God of restoration and children come from Him. As much as doctors talk about having a baby as if it were a magic portion that eradicates Endo, I know that it is only God who can heal Endo. Babies don’t fix things or people. If the Endo symptoms reduce after childbirth it is all by God’s grace and He deserves the glory.

I have seen and continue to see His healing power in my life. I am not where I used to be and I know that He is not done with me. He has won the victory and I know that His power cannot be measured by Endo in my life.

When you are overwhelmed by Endo, I pray that God will lead to Himself and show you His strength, healing power and faithfulness. You can rely on Him, He never changes.

To my sister and all other Endowarriors:- Receive big hugs and know that you are not alone. Even in the darkest hour His grace is sufficient. When you are weak He is strong. By His grace and for the glory of His name you will make it through.

Blessings,

Bibi2Be