She’s Not A Baby Anymore

I am currently sitting in a make-shift tent with Ky, holding her red pumpkin, which in reality is a bouncing ball. Though I am not about to burst her bubble, or oppose her imagination. Nah, I am here for all of it.

All of it.

That is the thing about life, you can’t have the good and excuse yourself from the bad, like some children skip over their veggies. Life is not like a side dish. It is more like a meal cooked in one pot. In the community that I come from this is a common occurrence and it is considered a delicacy. Please note that I am not talking about lasagna or shepherds pie type of one pot dish, that’s a pretty fancy comparison for the rice mixed with protein and veggies dish. But it is nutritious. It may not always look the best, depending on how it is cooked, but you know that it is healthy.

Motherhood has been like a one pot dish for me. There are seasons that I have disliked how it looked and felt. I would envy people with older children. When Ky was little, she struggled with reflux, every regurgitation deflated my hope. It was frustrating, messy and tear jerking. Having to give Ky a bath, then take a shower and change the sheets at mid-night was not the experience I hoped for. The snide comments from nurses regarding her weight gain, or lack thereof, felt like bricks pelting a straw house.

Now I smile as I watch the girls play and sit in their tents. They are always on the move, playing, laughing, chattering and running. I cherish the cuddles and moments when I can draw them in and hug them. I enjoy watching them sleep, and love that they sleep through the night.

In retrospect the mountains and valleys have been worth it. They may not have felt like it as we labored in love, but I have seen God turn things around for our good.

I have learned that it doesn’t have to feel good for me to know that it is working out for my good.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. – Romans 8:28

Tea Party With The Teddies

Sometimes all we need is something new to breathe some life and excitement to our old collections.

On Sunday, Miss K got a beautiful Hello Kitty tea pot, while Ky got a slice of cake from a little shop, together these two toys have unified their troop of toys. Almost all our games now revolve around feeding a teddy or a ‘toto’, or even feeding ourselves.

One afternoon this week, while Ky napped, Miss K got a fraction of her teddies, put ’em on four little chairs and then begun to serve them tea. You should have seen the look on her face, one of sheer joy, and excitement. The girls love having visitors, they think that we should host people everyday. I am glad that our love for hosting has rubbed off on them, we did it a lot before we had little ones, and now that they are old enough, it is a joy to see them long to serve others and share with others.

Miss K hosted what I’d call a modern day miracle. She probably didn’t realize it, but in the moments that I watched her, my heart was so encouraged. Her fifteen teddies, varying in age and size, shared two pots of tea and shared one slice of cake. And, according to Miss K, they were so full afterwards, they needed to have a nap.

This reminded me of how Jesus fed the 5000 men.  While it was just a game for Miss K, I pray that she will apply that faith in her life. God is still in the business of performing miracles. Miracles happen when we share, then we realize how the power of God can transform little into a lot. How something that could only have benefited one or two people, can transform the lives of others.

What is it that you have in your hands? What is it that you are being called to share? I’ll leave you with this bridge that has been my heart’s song this week, as I take the limits off my faith.

I’ve seen You move, come move the mountains 
And I believe, I’ll see You do it again
You made a way, where there was no way
And I believe, I’ll see You do it again”

Angels

If you had an angel following you around every day, what do you imagine they would wear? Would they have themes each day, you know, throw in a 17th-century outfit every other Thursday or some shades of blue on Mondays?

Sunday is my most rewarding and draining days, in equal measure. I teach the little children, children below three years old. Sometimes it is a walk in the park, other times it is like trying to conduct a choir whose members are in different time zones.

Yesterday, I taught them about angels. Some were wide-eyed as I showed them pictures from a pop-up Christmas book, others were more interested in the toys sprawled around, while others were intrigued by pink crocs.

A scroll on my social media page reminds me how much we need protection. As much as we try to protect our children, we cannot be with them at all times. We don’t see the bigger picture, we are not all knowing, seeing or powerful. We are limited in our power, but we serve a God who is omniscient, omnipresent and omnipotent.

He is able to order his angels to protect us.

“For he orders his angels to protect you wherever you go.~

~Psalm 91:11

We colored cut-out angels to remind us that God orders his angels to protect us everywhere we go. As the little ones play with their toys and lie in their beds, they know that there are angels watching over them.

My colored angel has a home on my wall to remind me that angels are watching over me everywhere that I go.

 

Juicy Grapes

The older I get, the more I embrace the things that I once detested. The things that I was hell-bent on never liking are the ones that I enjoy now. My mum chuckles that I feed my girlies sweet potatoes regularly because I would scoff at the sight of them. I would eat them amidst complaints, I was too bitter on the inside to appreciate their sweetness and fiber. But there was nothing that I loathed like ugali/sima (maize meal).

I practiced intermittent fasting on the days that sima was served at home. It was always in the wrong company, bitter tasting, and hard textured company. The veggies and the choice of protein put me off completely. My attempts to sweeten it with mala were shortlived, as I would sometimes forget to buy it on my way home, and it really wasn’t that deep.

When we moved to Mombasa, a love relationship was formed. I could actually enjoy my Sima and look forward to the days that I eat it. I still haven’t gotten to the place that I can eat it every day like my family, I guess the love for sima failed to be passed in the genes.

I also started enjoying traditional veggies, especially those on the slimier side of the spectrum – mrenda. The deep green color screams nutrients. A few days ago, as I was eating my sima and mrenda, Miss K and Ky decided that they must have grapes at that time. I asked them to wait for two minutes as I was almost done, then I would wash my hands, wash the grapes and serve them.

The girlies listened for all of twenty seconds and then they proceeded to eat the grapes as they were. They bit into the rather squishy ones that had them contorting their faces. They spat them out before I could say ‘I asked you to wait’. Their taste buds had expected the sweet taste of the grapes, instead, they got a fermented treat.

I eventually finished my food, washed my hands and prepped the grapes for them. As they chomped them down I explained why it is good to wait, patience sometimes seems impossible for toddler and preschooler. As I spoke, I realized that I too could learn a lesson from them.

When I feel like God is taking too long to answer a request, I should trust His heart and His timing. If I don’t I should remember that I might bite into some squishy fermented grapes, yet He desires to sort them out and give me the best.

Here’s to juicy grapes that are worth the wait.

 

 

 

Beyond Diapers and Routines

Perspective is a beautiful thing, it can infuse a stressful moment with patience. It can quiet down raging emotions and lend some insight into a situation.

The truth is that as motherhood is getting easier, it is also getting more complicated. I am almost done changing diapers, I hope you know I am using the word almost very loosely, give or take another two years, but still, that is pretty close. I am happy that the girls have grown so much. Soon they will be little semi-independent girlies, and my lap may not be there comfort zone.

Each season has its own challenges, things that could take a lot of my time. No one ever has it all figured out, at least I don’t, but I am done waiting for perfect conditions to do some of the things that I have been procrastinating about. There will never be perfect conditions, I am finally getting out of my own head, making a plan and teaching Ksena and Ky memory verses. Our first verse was Philippians 4:19. This week we are focusing on Psalms 56:4 as it was our verse in Sunday school.

In God, whose word I praise

In God I trust and I am not afraid.

~Psalm 56:4 NIV

It has been amazing watching Miss K grow in her own walk with God. Watching God teach her, and her hunger to know more about Him. This morning on our way to play school, she told me that she longs to see Jesus. She wanted to know where heaven is and how long she can go visit for. I answered these questions very carefully, especially the length of visit before she starts praying for a 1-month visit.

I received a long message yesterday that is still tugging at my heartstrings. I know in the depths of my heart that the Lord longs to reveal Himself to children. I need to play our part and prepare their hearts, read the word to them and love them.

MOTHERS – GET READY FOR NEW STRATEGIES IN YOUR PARENTING!! JESUS IS INVITING YOU INTO THE STRATEGY ROOM OF HEAVEN!!! 

Lana Vawser 

I had a vision recently and I saw Jesus inviting Mothers into the strategy room of heaven to bless them. He was inviting them in to sit at the table with Him and to receive new creative strategies and divine insight in their parenting. I knew instantly that the Lord had invited the Mothers into this strategy room with Him to hear these new strategies for they were the creative strategies for the new season to carry the increase that He is releasing. It wasn’t there was anything wrong with how things were done before, but there was an increase that the Lord was wanting to bring. 

A SEASON OF DEEP ENCOUNTERS FOR CHILDREN

As I watched in this vision, Mother after Mother responding to the call from the Lord, they sat at the table with Jesus and He began to unravel these scrolls of divine insight, blueprints and creative strategy on raising, ministering and sowing into their children. The Spirit of wisdom and revelation was so strong, I saw Mother’s filling pages and pages and pages in journals of the insight the Lord was releasing. As they wrote what He was speaking, His Words on the pages became keys. There were SO MANY keys and then the Lord spoke “This is a season of great UNLOCKING upon your children. A season of deep encounters for children with Me has begun.” The atmosphere was full of such joy and expectation that we are about to see a radical increase of children encountering the Lord and the supernatural in greater ways than we have ever seen before. As I watched this taking place it reminded me of a dream that I had a while ago regarding revival and the great outpouring of His Spirit. As I slept I heard the Lord speaking over and over “It won’t begin, until it begins with the children.” 

This invitation from the Lord for Mother’s is so weighty, it’s so strategic and it is so on the Lord’s heart right now, for He is releasing the new “pathways” to position, invest, pray and sow into our children to see them move into their greatest season of encounter with Jesus. I saw children who already know the Lord having deeper encounters than they have ever had, and I saw children who do not yet know the Lord, suddenly encountering Jesus and His radical, unrelenting, ever pursuing love and being radically transformed.

There is a MAJOR move of the Spirit of God upon children right now and the divine strategies that the Lord is releasing to Mother’s right now is going to bring forth greater healing, breakthrough and freedom to children. 

I asked the Lord why there was a focus upon Mother’s being into the strategy room of heaven right now, and I heard Him say “I am going to release a greater revelation to children of My nurture through Mothers in this season.” 

OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES

I kept hearing the words “Out of the mouths of babes” and the Lord showed me that there is significant increase of revelation, wisdom and breakthrough that He is going to release through children in this season. 

“You have built a stronghold by the songs of babies.
Strength rises up with the chorus of singing children.
This kind of praise has the power to shut Satan’s mouth.
Childlike worship will silence the madness of those who oppose you.” – Psalm 8:2 (The Passion Translation)

I felt the Lord saying “LISTEN!!!” – Listen to what your children speak from the encounters that they have with Me, for there is going to be great wisdom and revelation from My heart released from the mouths of babes. For in this season you will see a greater increase of worship and praise from the children, rising to Me that is going to release a significant breaker anointing to silence the enemy and to bring forth the breaker. Do not be surprised if the wisdom and direction you are seeking Me for, comes through the mouths of babes.”  

I also heard the Lord say “Pay attention to their dreams”. I suddenly saw an increase of prophetic dreams taking place for children in this season where they will encounter the Lord and the supernatural realms in greater ways. For the Lord is going to speak through the encounters many children have in this season with Jesus in their dreams, bringing forth great clarity, insight and divine strategy. 

The wisdom and discernment to guide children in their understanding of what they are experiencing and seeing is falling upon households like torrential rain. 

CONTINUE TO PRAY OVER THEIR DREAMS

Where the Lord is increasing prophetic dreams and encounters with Him with children in the night hours, I heard the Lord say “Continue to pray over their dreams. Continue to bathe their dreams in prayer, for the enemy would attempt to hinder these encounters with Me through fear filled dreams, nightmares or night terrors, but continue to plead My blood over their dreams and their sleep. Continue to decree My Word of peaceful sleep and prophetic insight over them as they sleep and My angelic hosts to surround their beds, and you will see a major breakthrough of My Glory, revelation and insight being poured out upon them as they sleep.” 

MOTHERS YOU WILL BE REFRESHED AND STRENGTHENED BY MY SPIRIT, FILLED WITH GREATER JOY THAN YOU HAVE EVER KNOWN IN YOUR PARENTING

The vision then went back to the Mother’s in the heavenly strategy room with Jesus and I watched as they were encountering the Lord and His new strategies, blueprints and creative insight, I watched as what looked like a HUGE waterfall was pouring over them. It was the rivers of His Spirit bringing refreshment to  them. They were being refreshed, strengthened and empowered again by the Spirit of God to move in this new season and new blueprints He was releasing. I watched as the Lord encouraged them and spoke: “Greater joy than you have ever known in your parenting is upon you!!!” 

The atmosphere was FULL of excitement and anticipation, that there was GREATER JOY than they had ever known beginning to break forth. I heard the Lord continue to speak to them “Do not look at what has been. Do not look at what was. But look to Me and know that this is your season of greater increase in your parenting. In this season you will see greater healing, you will see greater restoration, you will see greater redemption, recompense and divine breakthrough in your parenting than you have ever seen.”

I then saw these heavy “sandbags” on the shoulders of many Mother’s and these sandbags were labeled “REGRET”. I saw that many Mother’s have been carrying around “REGRET” and the Lord wanted to lift it off. Attached to these heavy “sandbags” of “REGRET” were lies. The enemy had come and found these sandbags of “REGRET” and was attacking them with his lies regarding their role as a Mother and their children. I watched as Jesus spoke such beautiful truth to them about their role as a Mother, the destiny of their children and His plans, and His love began to pierce holes in these sandbags of regret and they were melting away. There was a new level of peace, joy, and expectation in their role as Mother being given to them. I then heard Him speak again “Don’t look back. Look forward. Look to Me and KNOW that nothing is impossible for Me. The strategies I am releasing as you implement them are going to bring MAJOR breakthrough, increase, turnaround and restoration. It’s time for you to THRIVE in your role as Mother. This is the Year of Family and the enemy has come against Mother’s so strongly in this season, but NO MORE. Mothers, it’s your time to FLY! It’s your time to FLY! I am redeeming time! I am taking you higher! I am opening your eyes in greater ways to My strategy and you will pray and see significant breakthrough SUDDENLY unlike you have ever experienced.”

MOTHERS, THE BOWLS OF HEAVEN CONCERNING YOUR CHILDREN ARE TIPPING

The Lord smiled and said “Mothers, the bowls of heaven concerning your children are tipping. Not one prayer you have prayed is in vain. Nothing has fallen to the ground. As you have learnt into Me and you have prayed My heart, as you have prayed My Word, as you have invested into your children through prayer, NOW you shall see the bowls of heaven are about to TIP over your children. You shall see the greatest outpouring of My Spirit over you, your family unit and your children. You shall see the manifestation of the breakthrough of the many prayers you have prayed, greater fruitfulness than you have known and greater INCREASE. The ground shall no longer be dry. The land shall no longer be barren, but you shall see great FRUITFULNESS come to your children and your household. As the fruit bursts forth, you will understand why the battle has been so hard regarding your children and family, because I have decreed this IS the season of greater fruitfulness in your family than you have ever known.”

“Mothers, this is your time to arise in new ways moving in My wisdom and revelation to see the greatest outpouring of My Spirit and breakthrough upon your children and family unit. The banner of My faithfulness is about to be lifted HIGH!!!!”

Please let me know if this has been helpful, I would love to hear how the Lord is moving in your homes.

May our children be taught by the Lord, and may they know great peace.

 

 

 

Running on E

WhoMy morning began with a choir of tears.

I knew we were off to a difficult start. Before I had children, I used to be a morning person. Now, I  wake up before my alarm bings because I am an often-tired person, who has a long list of things to do. To be honest, I doubt I was really a morning person, I think that the Endometriosis induced fatigue was less in the morning.

Motherhood is a lifetime job. It is multi-faceted so the brief keeps changing. Perhaps, change is one of the constants. Some tricks grow old, you grow old, and your children. well, they grow older too.

It is a cocktail of laughs from the depth of your belly, and tears from the bottom of your heart. Some days are good, some days are heart-wrenching.  From time to time you countdown to bedtime, not because you hate your children, but because they have been EXTRA the whole day and you want to catch a break. On the unfortunate days, your emotions, and internal conflicts get in the way, and you are harsher than you should have been. You are not as patient as you say Jesus wants us to be. Some days you fail, and as you watch your little one’s tummy rise and fall as they sleep, you beat yourself up. You wallow in regret and helplessness.

I have many days that I wake up feeling as if I’m running on a deficiency. As though my fuel is at E. Many days where I cry to Jesus for forgiveness, and almost beg for strength because I feel spent. Days where nothing feels like it is enough.

A few days ago, in the most unlikely place, and almost in passing, the Lord reminded me that unless I look to Him and rely on Him I will feel disadvantaged. I will feel that I am not enough. I will fall short even before I stand tall.

The bolts of your gates will be iron and bronze, and your strength will equal your days. Deuteronomy 33:25

My strength shall equal my days. God, who pre-destined me, who knows all of the days that I have lived and those to come, has already apportioned me the adequate strength to face each day.

After this revelation, I started saying this prayer in the morning:

Dear Lord, I do not know what the day holds, but I know it is You who holds it. I know that you have given me the adequate strength to face this day, therefore I will go forth with boldness and peace.

For this mama, who is sometimes weary, my heart is encouraged when I know that my strength will equal my days.

 

Yum Yum

We are planning an art exhibition in our household. Miss K wants to have a show where she displays all her drawings. She is so serious about it, and has been sorting her masterpieces, she has a guest list and is about to give me her brief for the catering department. It is something that she talks about everyday, so I’ll share with you some pictures of the exhibition when it happens.

Ky on the other hand thinks that coloring is extremely exciting- well, nothing trumps painting- especially when she is coloring Ksena’s pages. When this happens I countdown to the exchange that will ensue, I am a full-time referee.

Ky’s fave color seems to be green at the moment, she says ‘Geen’ with a grin. Super cute, I tell you. Watching her reminds me how sometimes I think that the grass is greener on the other side, yet in some instances it just depends on which color your are coloring your paper.

We could all be having the same meal, but she will prefer it if it comes from Daddy’s plate. Last night when she saw me serve hubs, she shouted, ‘Yum Yum’ as she charged towards him his dinner. She knows that unless his food is laded with chilli he will share it with her. In fact when I serve him, I put a little extra for Ky.

At this tender age, she knows that she has access to what her father has, when she asks she receives. As she chowed on his food, I said to him, “May you partake of what belongs to your father (in heaven) like Ky does with you. She knows that you will not withhold from her any good thing.” I didn’t add, don’t throw tantrums when you don’t get your way, because the tantrums are with us, but we are grateful for grace from above and experience with Miss K, we know that they too shall pass.

In my walk with God, I pray that I will go to him as my father and partake of that which he has prepared for me. That I will not let my experiences and biases dispel my desire for Him.