A Faith That Makes Sense

There’s a beautiful, subtle yet strong, inquisitive nature that children have. They believe, but they also ask ‘why?’ quite often. As a little girl, the answer to some of my questions were answered by ‘because I said so’. At the time it was valid, and then I grew up and formulated my own thoughts on the same.

Miss K loves Bible time. She often tries to connect the dots, and build on what she has previously learned. There are times that she stares at me in bewilderment. Case in point, a few weeks ago we read the story about Jesus leaving the ninety-nine sheep to look for the one that was lost. Right after we finished she asked me, “Mama, how is Jesus both the shepherd and the lamb?” This explanation took us down a rabbit hole maze. We started with a shepherd and a lamb and went back to heaven. One of the questions she asked also had me confused, because I had never thought about it like that. I told her that I’d have to confirm and get back to her. She giggled and said, “Let me guess, you are going to ask Jesus.” I smiled and said, “Yes, I’ll ask the Holy Spirit.”

Convergence conflict.

What happens when two aspects of your faith come together but you can’t reconcile them? Do you question both, or accept one aspect instead of the other one?

One thing that this Covid-19 season has brought up is questions. Questions about life. Questions about faith. Questions about race. Questions about some of the things we have believed to be true but are now quaking at their foundations.

There are many people having a crisis of faith. Asking questions that cannot be answered by ‘because I said so’.

The best part of our faith is that we have a Helper, Comforter, Spirit of Wisdom and Counselor who can guide us to all truth. The Holy Spirit brings clarity in a way that only He can.

The pace of my quiet time has slowed down. I’m using Miss K’s lens as I interact with the Word. I am asking the questions “How does this fit in to what I know? What needs to go?” It doesn’t mean that I always leave with answer on the spot, but I have peace as I seek them.

I pray that as we seek we will find peace in the Lord. That as He speaks, we will move in obedience, swift obedience. That we will not trivialize the request, may it be a call, or a prayer, or giving in one way or another. That we be willing to obey He who sees all and knows all, without needing to clarify with our eyes. Ultimately, that the move of the Lord will be seen as, we, His hands and feet, do that which He instructs.

Play Dough

I made play dough on Saturday. I used strawberry-red food color and it turned out a shade closer to pink, but I am glad I made it anyway. As long as it is malleable, Ksena will be happy.

Ksena enjoys making tasty Chapatis when it is Chapo day, her rolling skills are improving with the practice she does on play dough. Maybe she will be the one who makes us tortillas when she is older; a mum can dream.

I’ve gotten really good at procrastinating. Overthinking has become a past time. Granted that it is good to think through what you are about to do, but what I’ve been doing is wearing my running shoes and then tying my laces together, little wonder that I fall down before I start to run. Then I quit.

Most of the play dough recipes require you to use Cream of Tartar (I know, it sounds like Tartar sauce). For the past year, I looked for Cream of Tartar in every supermarket in Mombasa, I even checked in Nairobi but it was nowhere to be found. So I opted not to try.

On Saturday, I decided to give it a try without the Cream of Tartar, it was evident that if I wait to find it I will never make it, also Ksena’s desire to mold isn’t going anywhere so I might as well get on with it. As I kneaded the play dough, the Holy Spirit prompted me to think of all the things that I have failed to do because I didn’t have perfect conditions, because I didn’t have the “Cream of Tartar”. I was humbled and embarrassed. The truth is I like having everything that I need and watching my ducks stand line quacking on key like a choir. But life doesn’t always work like that. Most times, I don’t have all my ducks in a row, in fact sometimes it looks like there is a chicken masquerading in the skein, clucking as the rest are quacking.

The truth is I like having everything that I need and watching my ducks stand line quacking on key like a choir. But life doesn’t always work like that. Most times, I don’t have all my ducks in a row, in fact sometimes it looks like there is a chicken masquerading in the skein, clucking as the rest are quacking.

Some of my obstacles seem silly, but I let them hold me back. I am reminded today to just do it, to chase the dream, to record those Vlogs, to write those books, to make the play dough without the Cream of Tartar and to always be malleable. Through it, God will be glorified.

You can follow my Vlog here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnmYUAAe-cc


I fought the flutter of butterflies in my tummy as I stared at my computer screen. I shuffled between various tabs, and slowly filled in my registration form. I was anxious, scared and unsure of what having an online writing home looked like. I had tried to bury the desire to write for too long, this resulted in many half-filled forms suffocating in the closed the tabs.

“What is the worst that could happen?” my friend asked. Silence filled the room as I did the binary equation in my head. “Nothing,” I responded in a whisper and resolved to register my blog that very evening. And I did. I had a blank slate, an empty house, a shoe that I wasn’t sure that I fit in to, but there I was ready to walk into the unknown.

The desire to share my story overpowered the fear. It’s been six years since I started this blog. It has changed, I have changed, we’ve both grown. It’s been a beautiful journey. Initially, I wanted to share more about my wedding preparation experience, but I got caught up in life. Then it changed to sharing my reflections and random stories, and I have enjoyed that. I have discovered other interests such as teaching and writing for children. What was just a blog, is now a center piece of my calling to create content.

The greatest teachers I have encountered are my family. My husband’s resounding reminder to obey God has now become a part of who I am. I write now because I know it is what I was born to do. My heart beats, Ksena and Kyria have been an inspiration. As I train them up in the ways of the Lord, I am reminded that I have to walk the talk. Teach them to pour themselves out, so that they will return to their maker empty, having been obedient. As I stress (because that is what repeating myself to two-year-old feels like) the importance of obedience, I feel the Spirit nudge me and ask me, ‘Will you obey? Will you go where I  send you? Will you do what I ask of you?”

Two weeks ago, I caught Ksena sitting close to the edge of a bed from the corner of my eye as I tried to change Ky’s diaper, Ky is always on the move, unless she is sleeping. I told Ksena to watch out, her and hubs responded in unison that he was supporting her. The confidence with which she told me that ‘daddy’s got my back’ took me a back. It was a conviction. It got me thinking about my conviction regarding God’s position in my life. Do I know, like Chris Tomlin does, who goes before and stands beside me? Am I convinced that the Lord of angel armies is always by my side?

In February last year, I had a desire to start a new blog and create content about Endometriosis in Kenya. That is how Bibi2be’s sister blog Yellow Endo Flower was born.

It’s been an adventure, I feel more at home in my writing, but I know that this is just the beginning. I have seen the fruits of obedience, seen the Lord work through this written work, and enjoyed the peace that comes from having a clear conscience.

Six years later, I find myself at the same place, with a desire to start something new. Rather, with a call to obey, and go forth and create content. This time I am less inhibited by fear, I am conscious of the beauty of obedience. The impact a ‘YES’ can have. This time, the kaleidoscope of butterflies within has been quietened by the desire to obey.

As I have written this, I have started a YouTube channel, it’s been a long time coming. I welcome you to join me on my journey of obedience and faith. Here’s to living the life that I was created for. Here’s to dying empty, for the glory of the King.

Link to the first video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCQOngXT4WM&feature=youtu.be

It’s The Thought That Counts

Previously, when someone would just pop into my mind, I’d enjoy the moment and then , revert back to life as normal.

A couple of months ago the Holy Spirit challenged me pray for the people when I think about them. Perhaps they come to mind for more than just momentary entertainment, and for a greater purpose. It’s now so ingrained in our culture at home, that if I tell my husband I though about someone, he’ll ask me if I’ve prayed for them, then maybe ask me what the thought was.

I’m applying this even after I have dreams of people, I pray for them. Sometimes I’m too sleepy to understand the complexity of what God is trying to say through the dream, but I pray either way. I cover them in the mighty name and blood of Jesus, and pray as the Spirit leads. Sometimes, it is a two liner prayer, other times, it turns out to be a long prayer.

Has someone been on your mind? Pray for them.


I’m smiling as I write this next paragraph, because it took me a while to start implementing immediately.

You know, how sometimes you have a feeling that you should text someone? Well, I used to get this feeling and say, ‘tomorrow’ or ‘later’. Then as I wait for later and probably forget, the said person texts me and I’m like ‘I thought about you today!’. Holy Spirit gently nudges me and I know I sorta dropped the ball. I have learned that at those moments, some people’s hearts would be cheered by my obedience.

This week, I pray that all the thoughts will count, that we will go over and above thinking about people, to praying for them and encouraging them.



The Suzuki Swift Through A Different Lens

I love how God makes ordinary things extraordinary. You can look at something mundane through your ordinary eyes but when He allows you to catch a glimpse through His lens, you get a new perspective. It is like you are seeing it for the very first time.

Two days ago, I was looking at a Suzuki Swift, nothing out of the ordinary, I look at one everyday.


Then the Lord begun to ask me if I am swift to obey Him. Yup, we moved from a car name to matters of the heart; just like that.

A couple of months ago, I used to make excuses before obeying. I had a list of cons to discourage me from writing a list of pros.  I used to manage to discourage myself from walking in obedience. Common sense would have the final say; selfish ambition or should I say, self preservation would be at work.

Nowadays, I obey as I go. Most times it is uncomfortable and my flesh screams ‘DON’T DO IT! THINK ABOUT ME!!’ but I do it anyway. Sometimes it hurts; it means sacrificial giving, but I still do it. Like Abraham, I make the uneasy trip up the mountain to make my sacrifice. The voices in my head are loudest at this time, but I silence them with the promises of God. I repeat ‘He will never leave me, He will provide for all of my needs’ until the voices in my head and every fibre within me, starts to praise the name of the Lord. We move from fear to faith.

I have come to learn that my flesh is so limited. I cannot use my limited mind to try to decipher a divine command. I will never fully understand the Lord and His ways.


Are you swift to obey God?

Do you make excuses to try and negotiate your way out or do you keep walking as you raise your concerns?

May you believe God and obey; may your faith be credited to you as righteousness. Romans 4:3

Finally, the new Suzuki Swift Sport is quite the cutie BUT it ain’t got nothing on Swift obedience (:



Get Off The Throne. Let God Be God : Day 26

There have been many times that I have told God when and how to do answer my prayers. It has failed terribly because I am just a mere woman and He is God. I do not have the capacity to fully understand His thoughts and ways.


Naaman the leper also had expectations as to how God should use prophet Elisha to heal him in 2 kings 5.

Then Naaman went with his horses and chariot, and he stood at the door of Elisha’s house. 10 And Elisha sent a messenger to him, saying, “Go and wash in the Jordan seven times, and your flesh shall be restored to you, and you shall be clean.” 11 But Naaman became furious, and went away and said, “Indeed, I said to myself, ‘He will surely come out to me, and stand and call on the name of the Lord his God, and wave his hand over the place, and heal the leprosy.’ 12 Are not the Abanah[a] and the Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Could I not wash in them and be clean?” So he turned and went away in a rage. 13 And his servants came near and spoke to him, and said, “My father, if the prophet had told you to do something great, would you not have done it? How much more then, when he says to you, ‘Wash, and be clean’?” 14 So he went down and dipped seven times in the Jordan, according to the saying of the man of God; and his flesh was restored like the flesh of a little child, and he was clean.

The truth is, God does not always move as I expect. Sometimes He asks me to do ‘strange’ things but I constantly have to remind myself that mine is to ask and wait to receive as He dispenses and pleases.

I am learning that I need to get off the throne and let God be God. Let Him come through as He pleases and obey Him in all things, even when His instructions don’t seem ‘dignified’.

Have you been giving God instructions and suggestions?

Have your expectations been obstructing your obedience?

The prayer of the day:

Dear God,

I am humbled to know you. There is no one like you. You are the one that I will forever worship. Please forgive me for the times that I have given you instructions yet you are God.

In you I live, move and have my being. I surrender my life before you. I know that your plans are best. You know the desires of my heart, I ask that you will move as you please. I accept your decision and choose to be obedient in the big and small things.

In Jesus name I pray and believe,


The song of the day:

May our pride and expectations not stand in the way of our obedience and blessings. He is God.



P.S if you would like me to stand with you in prayer, send me an email on ess@bibi2be.com

Living In Purpose : Day 24


There is something so amazing and breathtaking about people who are living their lives audaciously in purpose. Indeed, living in purpose sets your world on fire.

It is one thing to know your purpose, and another to walk in it.

Several months ago, when I felt God saying that I should leave my job, I was confused. My main question was, leave and go where? Eventually, I left and there begun my season of waiting. One of the most uncomfortable seasons EVER. In hindsight I can say that it was necessary. It was lonely, confusing, boring, awkward, defining, but so necessary.

It could have been much shorter had I stopped fighting God. I invested my energy everywhere except where God needed it to be. I got lost in the busyness but all He wanted was for me to enjoy the stillness. Because, that is where I would hear him.

That in-between season, broke me but gave me space to figure out what I was born to do. Slowly but surely it is falling into place. I am learning to make a conscious decision every day to follow Him and heed the call over my life.

i will follow

I read this story in 1 Kings 19 two days ago and it really resonated with me.

19 So Elijah went and found Elisha son of Shaphat plowing a field. There were twelve teams of oxen in the field, and Elisha was plowing with the twelfth team. Elijah went over to him and threw his cloak across his shoulders and then walked away. 20 Elisha left the oxen standing there, ran after Elijah, and said to him, “First let me go and kiss my father and mother good-bye, and then I will go with you!”

Elijah replied, “Go on back, but think about what I have done to you.”

21 So Elisha returned to his oxen and slaughtered them. He used the wood from the plow to build a fire to roast their flesh. He passed around the meat to the townspeople, and they all ate. Then he went with Elijah as his assistant.

Elisha knew what God had called him to do but wanted to go back and say good bye to his family. It may not have been a bad thing, but what if they convinced him otherwise?

For him to follow God wholeheartedly he needed to quit his job, and make God the main thing. His mission did not allow him to have a side hustle.

What is it that God has called you to do?

What has your excuse been? What is holding you back?

What do you need to burn or sacrifice in order to follow God wholeheartedly?

There is a price to pay, but beauty and fulfillment await you on the other side.

The prayer of the day:

Dear God,

I thank you for the seasons of life. Now I can see that the awkward in-between season was necessary. Please forgive me for the times that I have held back from following you wholly because of fear and societal expectations. 

Remind me the call over my life that I may walk in it. I know and believe that you are able to sustain me. May I find satisfaction, joy and blessings in you. May lives be changed and challenged because I have chosen to follow you and to live for you.

In Jesus name I pray and believe,


The Song of the day:



P.S if you would like me stand with you in prayer, send me an email on ess@bibi2be.com

Give me Jesus – Day 11

Yesterday as we went out for our drive, we saw an elderly lady selling some toys a few kilometers from our house. Hubby said we should promote her, and I said, ‘’yes, let’s get her attention and pull over to the side of the road.”

As he opened the window, I told him to buy something from her and to tell her that Jesus loves her. As she showed him the toys, and we let Miss K choose one she likes, he told her that I asked him to tell her that Jesus loves her. She responded a bit taken a back but said that she loves Him too.

Jesus love you

After we gave her that which we had decided, she looked at us and said ”thank you for that reminder. I walk around the whole day and there is no one to remind me that Jesus loves me.” She walked away with more than just a few extra shillings in her pocket; she walked away happy, her heart filled with hope.

I was balancing tears as we drove off. I knew that above promoting her business, we had given her what she needed most, hope in Jesus.


As I look at this toy, I will always remember that Jesus loves me and that He desires for me to be an ambassador of Christ. To tell the world of His love; there are people who are desperate for a reminder of His love. People are low on hope. I need to be His hands and feet and share the love.

As Miss K grows older and begins to understand more, I will remind her this story. That she too may go forth and tell people of the love of Christ. That she may refresh others.

Jesus loves you, fiercely and deeply. Be encouraged, that even in difficult circumstances, you are not forgotten. May He fill your heart with what no money can buy, His peace and joy.

Who can you remind of Jesus’ love today?

The prayer for the day is:

Dear God,

I thank you for Your Son Jesus Christ. I thank You that He came and died on the cross for my sins. Indeed You tore the veil and made a way for me to enter Your presence as You displayed Your great love for me.

Sometimes I allow the things of this world to veil my eyes and I am unable to see your love for me. Thank You for this reminder. Your love is truly extravagant.

Show me who I can encourage in you today. Use me to spread the good news and remind people that they are loved. I am available to remind them that You sent Your only son so that they could have life in abundance. May they experience Your great love and walk in the way everlasting.

I love and adore you. There is none like You.

In Jesus Christ name I pray and believe,


The song of the day is:

May you be refreshed as you refresh others today.



P.S if you would like me to stand with you in prayer, you can send me an email on ess@bibi2be.com

Prompt Obedience : Day 2

what i

What if I just obeyed God? wholeheartedly without excuses?

What would happen?

Lives would be changed. Praise would reach His ears.

What if the pot did what the potter designed it to do?

I have made far too many baseless excuses over the years. This month, I have challenged myself to obey God promptly and see what He can do with a willing vessel. I invite you to join me in this journey of prompt obedience. Then we can regroup at the end of the month and share our stories.

Prayer of the day:

Dear God,

Thank you that you are a God of second chances. Thank You for your grace that saved a wretch like me. Indeed I was once lost but now I am found. I was once blind but now I see.

Forgive me for the times that I have walked as one who does not know the light, one who does not know You. Indeed it is a privilege and honor to hear from You. Yet, there are times I have heard your instructions both big and small and ignored them or made excuses.

Help me to obey you promptly.  As I seek you out and listen in the quiet, may I hear you. I declare that I am available to you; withholding nothing, I give myself away so that You can use me. Show yourself strong in my life Lord. 

I long to make you smile Papa. I long to bring you joy; to do that which you created me to do. That all the glory, honor, and majesty may go unto your name, because you ALONE are God.

Thank you for your presence, I am humbled that you accept me as I am. May my life and my worship be acceptable and pleasing to you.

In Jesus name I pray and believe,


The song of the day is:



P.s If you would like me to stand with you in prayer, feel free to send me an email on ess@bibi2be.com

Taking Stock: No More Excuses

Whoa, where did the year fly to? July is almost here, that means Christmas is right around the corner.

Since we are practically halfway through 2015, it is time to take stock of the half that has been. See what has worked, review what hasn’t, celebrate the victories and learn from the mistakes.

I started taking stock yesterday and as I reflected, God led me to read these verses (emphasis on verse 30):

1 Corinthians 7: 29-30 (NLT-Gift &Award Edition)

Now let me say this, dear brothers and sisters: The time that remains is very short, so husbands should not let marriage be their major concern. Happiness or sadness or wealth should not keep anyone from doing God’s work.


I was just speechless.

Earlier in the year God asked me to do several things, some I begun but stopped midway, and blamed sleep regression, depression and whatever other ‘valid’ reason that presented itself at the time. I never quite got back to doing them.

God reminded me that when He asked me to do those things He was not ignorant of my emotions or circumstances. He asked knowing FULLY well what was going on within and around me.

I was so humbled. So here I am, thankful for second chances to be obedient. Thankful for the Holyspirit who speaks loudly even when I put Him on mute. I have written a list of the things that God asked me to do that I made excuses about, and I am going to get on with them.

1st Samuel 15:22 (NLT)

But Samuel replied,

“What is more pleasing to the Lord:
    your burnt offerings and sacrifices
    or your obedience to his voice?
Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice,
    and submission is better than offering the fat of rams.

Before I accuse God of not speaking in a current situation, let me respond to the instructions He spoke to me in a previous conversation. After all, what good is it to hear but not act?

The truth is we were created to worship Him. He desires our obedience rather than our sacrifices.


God bless you even as you take stock of the half that has been and allow Him to shed His light on your path.