I Feel You

Under every tough skinned girl is a soft underbelly.

It is easy to portray a tough exterior, especially because you may not want people to walk all over you. So you toughen up, but deep within, when the world quietens down, you feel the beauty, murkiness and mixed nature of your feelings. You feel big emotions, small emotions and mixed emotions.

I see this with my girls. They have different personalities and an illusion of crocs skin, but their underbelly is the same. Soft, malleable and sensitive. They’ll say things like ‘I’m a big girl, I won’t get hurt. Or, ‘Even if I fall down, I won’t cry’

When they hit the ground, it is a whole different story. When they are aggrieved, the tears flow, and then the choir begins.

When one hears her sister crying, she cries as well. Even louder than the aggrieved party, and then the other one starts crying. Before I know it, I have a symphony, more like a brassy, wail. I think their voices complement each other and one day we will have a beautiful trio .

The tears say, I see you, I feel you and I wish I could make it better. That is the essence of our faith, the spine of our sisterhood. You don’t have to go through it to feel it. Our tough exterior shouldn’t neutralize our empathy. It shouldn’t blind us from the reality of pain. Our soft underbelly should make us sensitive to the voice of the Lord, sensitive to the hearts of those around us. Our ability to feel, should drive us to our knees where we can truly uphold each other,and present our grievances and situations to the Lord.

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. ~ Romans 12:15

Training Wheels

“Mama, just let her play with it.” Ksena said to me as we watched Ky attempt to eat board book. She’s teething, these teeth have been coming out for three months. Today, one finally broke through (cue ululations). I’m excited, I can’t say the same about my nipples and Ky’s earlobes, they are both about to be conditioned. Our toothless smile is turning into a two-toothed smile.

Over the last nine months, our home and hearts have been transformed. Yesterday as I watched the girls played, I said to Peter, that I almost don’t remember life before Ky came. She has warmed our hearts, her joy has radiated everywhere she has gone. She greets us with smiles every morning and wakes Ksena up by shouting, ‘Dada Dada Dada’. If Ksena wakes up before Ky, she asks two questions: “Where is my sister? How was her night?” once you have answered these questions to her satisfaction, then she asks you to pray.

Sisterhood has made Ksena more empathetic. Granted that there are times that I have to remind her to be kind to Ky, or to use her kind voice, being a sister has brought out a softer, caring and protective side. The transition from being an only child to a big sister has been smooth. Initially, there were a few regressions but all in all, there has been a lot of progress.

Training a child in the way that they should go is like playing a cd on loop, both the audio and video. It is setting an example in speech and deeds. I repeat myself severally. When I am tempted to get frustrated and irritated, I remember the love and grace that the Lord has extended to me. Sometimes the bible seems repetitive, but we are children, the more we hear and internalize, the more we are transformed.

A few months ago, Ksena wasn’t bothered to learn how to peddle her tricycle. She preferred to be pushed, sometimes she would attempt to peddle while the bike was already in motion. Other times, she would just sit pretty and enjoy the ride. She wasn’t bothered that other children knew how to ride, one day, she woke up and peddled. Now she is ready for a bicycle with training wheels. The training doesn’t stop until she learns to cycle and balance on her own.

From time to time (more like every other week), I am asked a question that compares the girls’ development. Ksena’s teeth popped when she was much younger, but Ky has started cruising earlier than Ksena did. I am learning to let them grow at their pace. Growth is not a competition, everyone is on their own journey. What is important is that we all make it to our destinations, so we walk if we can, and crawl if we must. As long as we don’t stop moving.

Our girls were dedicated to the Lord this past weekend, it was beautiful and powerful service. Aside from the emotions, we were reminded our mandate to train up these girls in the ways of the Lord. To speak truth into their lives. To teach them truth. It’s a huge task and responsibility, one that we cannot delegate.  Sometimes the task at hand seems daunting but we have to remember that we have an ever present help, a counselor, the Holy Spirit who leads us into truth. We continue to trust Him to reveal to us who they are as individuals that we may raise them with clarity just like Manoah and his wife did. I pray that they will walk in their God given purposes, that they will get to their destination with unwavering faith in God who formed them in my womb, for the glory of His name.

 

 

Lessons From My Daughters (Pt 8) Love, Life & Sisterhood

We celebrated five years of marriage a few days ago. Where did time fly to? It’s a both short and long time. I will do a marriage post soon, I have to keep up with the tradition:). I can’t wait to read the compilation when we celebrate ten years of marriage by God’s grace.

As I write this, I’m wearing heels for the first time since I gave birth, Ksena says that they are my dancing shoes, so she helped me put them on. She saw some pictures of us during our wedding and she thinks that I am a princess. It’s so sweet. I’ve not refuted her claims, after all I am a Daughter of the most High King. What a beautiful reminder, that I need to put my dancing shoes on and dance to the music of life.

The K girls have blossomed, and I know that this is just the beginning but it is such a joy to watch them grow. In the coming months, Ky will be mobile and it should be interesting watching her follow Miss K, or not. I love that they are fond of each other. When Ksena wakes up, after her prayer she asks where her sister is. When Ky sees her she gives her a big toothless smile and chuckle. Ky has figured out that some days Miss K leaves her at home. Last week, she wailed when she saw me going to pick her up and we ended up going together.

There is a sweet sisterhood bond being formed here and I am super excited to see it grow and stick. As usual, these girls are teaching me a lot about life, faith and peace. This past week, I was a student in Miss Ky’s little class.

Where are they?

Ky loves to go outside. If you take her to the door she will prompt you to open the grill door, and take her out. Yesterday, we all went out and she was ecstatic as we walked out. She loved every second of being outside, the breeze and the branches swaying made her smile. She enjoyed watching Ksena and daddy run around. When it was was time for her and I to go back to the house, she kept craning her neck to see where Ksena and daddy were. Even as we closed the door she kept looking back and mumbling.

Leave no man behind.

An almost 7 month-old baby, demonstrated what it means to deeply care for and love someone. You need to check on them and see where they are.

I had a conversation with Peter two days ago about the importance of praying for people who are yet to receive salvation. And I wrote a list of people that I have committed not to ‘leave behind’.

Do not pass me by!

Ky is super alert, she knows who comes in, when they come in and when they leave. Every time that hubby passes by Ky, she immediately puts her hands up and starts mumbling to get his attention. If he doesn’t carry her or acknowledge her she gets upset and starts crying. She has learned how to cry with her eyes closed for emphasis 🙂 . I’m not sure where she picked that from.

When I’m home, I have to hide to write, because once she gets her eyes on me, she wants me to carry her immediately. Waving hi is not enough. Nah, she wants the full shebang. Now that I’m there, she is suddenly thirsty for milk.

It reminds me a lot of my walk with God. In fact the song that comes to mind is, ”While on others thou art calling, do not pass me by.” In many ways, I am just like Ky, it could have even become a daily prayer, that ‘Yes, Lord I can see you, and I would like you to call me by name and lift me up’. Ky reminds me that it is okay to call out. Just because I spent one hour with Him earlier doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t still desire Him. I pray that I will always look to Him to satisfy me.

I’m currently enjoying playlists by Worship Mob.

‘I want to know your heart!’

Have a blessed week,

Bibi2be

Sisterhood From A Two Year Old’s Perspective

When I was growing up, I always wanted a sister. I had our lives all planned out. How we’d have little tea parties, raid each others wardrobes, enjoy some hand-me-downs and crack the boy code together.

Well, truth be told, things didn’t turn out as I expected. When mama came from the hospital, she had a bouncing little boy ( I wonder why newborns are referred to as bouncing anyway, seeing as they lay pretty still). Back to my story, a precious little boy made his debut into our home. I was sad that I had officially been dethroned as the only child ( they didn’t prepare me enough). I now had to share everything including my parents attention. But I survived; though I still longed, ever so deeply for a sister.

I must say though, God did give me sisters from other mothers. Along the way, seasons have changed and time and distance have had their way. But, there is a bond I’ve made with a few, that has stood the test of time, proximity and shifting seasons.

Watching Ksena and Kyria together has struck chords in my heart. I’m learning so many lessons about sisterhood. The simple truths.

This is what sisterhood is according to a two year old:

Sisterhood is checking up on each other

Every morning, when Ksena wakes up, she comes into my room and says “Good morning mama, where is my sister? How was her night?”

During the day, she constantly asks, “Mum, what is Kyria/sister doing? How is she feeling?”

Sisterhood is protecting each other

When someone that Ksena doesn’t know picks up her sister, she stops what she is doing and asks us ( her parents) what is happening, to know if her sister is safe. She always points out little things that she thinks will hurt Kyria.

Sisterhood is helping each other

This morning, Ky refluxed as she was on her bouncy chair. Immediately Ksena said, “Mama, Kyria spat up. Let me help wipe her.” Then she took a muslin cloth and wiped the spit up. And Ky gave her a big toothless smile.

Sisterhood is standing in the gap

When Kyria starts crying, Ksena is the first person to jump off her seat and attend to her. If she sees I’m taking too long, she comes and says, “Mum! Kyria needs your help. Mum, come help Kyria!”

Sisterhood is loving each other

“Oh Kyria, you are my sister. You are my friend. I love you. Mama, I love Kyria very much.”  These words leave Ksena’s mouth daily. She tells her she loves her and showers her with kisses, hugs and prezzies that she’s made.

Sisterhood is enjoying each other’s company

Ksena likes to be in the same space with Kyria. She is constantly asking to lie next to her or seat next to her or carry her. The look on Ky’s face when Ksena is around is heart warming. She follows her around with her eyes and is all smiles.

Sisterhood is teaching each other

Ksena is currently teaching Kyria to make music (read: sing, dance and play an instrument). She shows her how to do it then asks her to have a turn. Ky smiles in return and bounces to the music in her chair.

Sisterhood is sharing

Haha this is a tricky one. It means sharing parents and toys. Some days there is good sharing of toys. All in all, it’s a work in progress.

Sisterhood is holding each others hands

Ksena likes to hold Kyria’s hands. I constantly discourage this, because Kyria eats her hands. So it’s a song, “Ksena, please don’t touch Kyria’s hands!” then she responds, “but I love her!! Mama, I love my sister very much!” Kyria also reaches out to touch Ksena. Indeed, sisterhood is holding each others’ hands.

Watching this relationship blossom is an answer to prayer and a subtle #sisterhoodgoal.

I’ve been longing to have a milkshake and adult conversation with a sister, but as I wait for that day, I’m going to enjoy watching these girls love on each other.

This weekend, reach out to your sister, let her know you love her. If you can, hang out with her, listen to her and BE with her. If your relationship with her is in a hard place, pray about it, then pick up the phone and extend an olive branch.

Here’s to sisterhood; a relationship made in heaven.

Blessings,

Bibi2be