How long should a shower last?
According to the girlies it should be a quick affair. Lather yourself, enjoy the water, rinse and dry. Sounds pretty simple, until you have to wash off the worries of the day. When you need to put the masks you’ve worn away. That shower becomes more than just a hygiene routine, but also a part of self care. After having the girls, I found that my showers got shorter and shorter. Not because I timed them, but because I had a breathing alarm clock knocking and asking “Mummy are you done?”
During this admission, one of my conclusions is that a shower should last at least the length of two songs. Initially I needed a speaker to cue me, and this is where we thank the Lord for Spotify. Yes? YES! Now I have gotten accustomed to the length of two songs, and I actually enjoy the feeling of just being. Sometimes, as I process the day, the weight of the world feels like it is weighing down on my shoulders.
One evening a few weeks ago, I spoke out loud and said ‘Lord this hard!’ And there I heard a still small voice, louder than the shower saying, ‘Allow me to take care of you, Ess’. The tears and the water mixed and flowed. It was a place of brokenness and grace.
I really like Lauren Daigle’s song Rescue.
It has been a theme song again and again this year. While I thought rescuing would be an act of valour I have realised sometimes rescuing looks like a little birdy singing by your window, the random flowers that bloom each day, the way the palm leaves sway, or a whatsapp message that sends hope from afar. Sometimes it looks like sobbing calls, or sitting in silence while reading the mood in the other’s eyes.
Sometimes it is a bouquet of flowers or salted crisps or carrot cake from Java. Sometimes it is a song turned ear-worm, a verse the reverberates in your head. Sometimes rescuing is sharing with a friend, the relief that comes after some meds, the excitement your loved ones have when they see you. Sometimes rescuing is total healing or the relief that comes with a new day, of course after getting a great round of sleep. Sometimes it a wake up call, or someone helping you up when you fall.
Sometimes it is a random meme, or an intentional word just for you. Sometimes it is a hug or a virtual hug sent your way. Sometimes it is an intentional devotion or a prayer over the phone. Sometimes it is a really good playlist or sitting in nature. Sometimes it is a need being met in real time, sometimes it is favour with God and man. Sometimes it is a random play date and having time to rest. Sometimes it is a random conversation about the grande and mundane. Sometimes it is the relief you feel when the tears form a puddle at your feet.
Sometimes rescuing is breaking what wasn’t working and giving you a chance to learn anew. Sometimes rescuing is the literal end of a season, or a reason to transition.
Rescuing is drawing you closer to the heart of God. Giving you cover from the storm, warmth, protection, grace, love, hope, and strength to carry on. It may be in one big majestic swoop, or little lego-like block moves stacked up in to a tower.
I have a picture on my phone of this little tree with red flowers where I literally sit and talk to God. Sometimes the burden is too heavy that I speak in sighs, and I’ve also discovered tears are a fluid dialect of the heart. My pastor friend sent me these words that stuck on me like black jacks, ‘He will come and save you, Ess.’ These are lyrics from a song we sang so many times when we were kids, but here seated under this tree, I may not always feel it based on circumstances, but somewhere in the depths of my heart I know that the Lord who clothes the birds and flowers, cares about me.
As I finish off this post, with tears streaming down my cheeks, let me share something I wrote about this valley, while seated under the tree. It may resonate with those in the valley.
Be still my soul. He will come and save you. Even when life gets hard, remember that you are loved. He will rescue you.
Bibi2Be 